In a large pan over medium-low heat, add ground beef, chopped onion, and onion soup mix.
Break up beef and mix everything together. Cook until beef is browned all the way through.
Drain grease thoroughly, you filthy animal.
Return burger mixture to heat and add cheese.
Break slices up and keep stirring and mixing until cheese is fully melted and incorporated.
Preheat oven to 350℉.
Cut rolls in half. I find it easier to do a couple at a time.
Place bottom buns on a foil-lined cookie sheet and evenly smear the ground beef mixture all over them.
Place top buns on top and cover all with tinfoil.
Bake for 15-20 mins.
Remove from oven, uncover, and remove top buns and also your top.
With your tits out, place a pickle coin on the beef so that each slider gets one.
Drizzle ketchup and mustard all over like art.
Top with top buns and serve!